Saturday, March 24, 2012

I've Decided to Walk

After much thought and numerous discussions with Frank and others, I have decided that I am going to go forward and continue to walk in this year's Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure. The fact of the matter is that cancer doesn't care about politics, and this organization still funds important work to help screen, diagnose, and work towards a cure.

I walk because my mom is a 10 year survivor. I walk because I have double the risk of being diagnosed with breast cancer as someone who doesn't have a first degree relative (mother, sister, daughter) who has had breast cancer.  I walk because I don't want my daughter or my son or anyone to face this diasease in themselves or in a loved one.  I walk for all the families affected by it, now and in the future.  I walk because 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer.

However, I cannot get there alone. I need your support to raise the $2,300 required to allow me to walk. My goal is to have 400-500 miles of training walks under my belt by the time the walk comes and to walk all 60 miles this year (The third time is a charm!)

As always, I only ask what you're willing to give. If you are unable to give at this time or you are not happy with the organization, that is OK with me. If you are willing to support me, please go to http://www.the3day.org/goto/margie_dowens and click on the Pink "Click to Donate to Margie in 2012" Button on the left side of the screen. Or if you prefer to pay by check, scroll to the bottom of that screen and click on the link that says "If you are unable to donate online, please print out a donation form."

Make your donation today, while you are thinking about it.

If there is someone you'd like me to walk for, please email me their name and I will add a ribbon to my hat for them. You do NOT need to donate to my walk to have me add a ribbon.

Thank you!

Warmly and with Love,
Margie

(3/24/12) Training: 7.6 miles, 2 hours 42 minutes
Total: 47.4 miles
(3/22/12) Training: 5.8 miles, 1 hour 41 minutes
Total: 39.8 miles
(3/10/12) Training: 6.5 miles, 2 hours, 14 minutes
Total: 34.0 miles
(3/9/12) Training: 5.5 miles, 1 hour, 51 minutes
Total: 27.5 miles

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Komen - I Still Don't Know Where I Stand

I am still struggling with my thoughts on the whole Komen problem and whether I will walk this year for them.  I found the following blog post, from Kristen, a fellow 3-Day Walker, to be incredibly well researched, backed up and I definitely learned some things from it.  If you need background on what's been happening, facts and information, start here before you go on to my post below:

Susan G Komen for the Cure - My Thoughts by Kristen Cincotta

My post is actually a letter I just emailed to the Project Manager for the National 3-Day who called me last week after I sent an email complaining about the fact that I received a survey from the National Komen organization and then couldn't take it because I was disqualified from giving my opinions after inputting a few demographic pieces of information about myself.  I felt like my voice didn't matter to them.  His call has helped with that.

It is far more about my emotions regarding the events.
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Thank you so much for taking the time to call me on Thursday and giving me the opportunity to have my voice heard.  I'm still feeling pretty upset with the larger Komen organization for disqualifying me from the survey they sent out.

A little background on me.  My mother is a 10 year breast cancer survivor.  I got invovled in the 3-Day in honor of her and because I wanted to make a difference and show my children (an eight year old son and a five year old daughter) that you can make change happen if you're willing to go out and do things to see that it does happen.  I also wanted to do something that would potentially lower the risk of my kids ever having to face breast cancer themselves or face it in a loved one.  I walked in the San Diego 3-Day in 2010 and 2011, I also walked in the Los Angeles and Orange County Race for the Cure in 2011.  I have personally raised $7,750 for those events and convinced two other people to walk the 3-Day and one other person to join me at a Race for the Cure.  Including what those friends raised, I am responsible for bringing well over $12,500 to the 3-Day and those 2 affiliates in just 2 years.  I have a hat with 43 ribbons with the names of 42 women and one man who have battled breast cancer and won, or lost their battle with breast cancer.  I am connected to those people through my donors and friends and family.  I walked for all of them and the countless other families touched by this disease.

My initial feeling when the news hit was great disappointment, but I felt like it wouldn't affect my wanting to walk this year. I definitely thought they'd made a mistake in defunding Planned Parenthood and I wasn't happy about it. However, as no word came from Komen, the message got shaped by others and I watched the ire on Twitter and Facebook grow, I began to wonder if I still wanted to affiliate myself with Komen.  I didn't jump to any conclusions though as I am a wait-and-see-don't-judge-until-you-have-more-facts type of person.  At first I found it hard to believe that they had actually targeted Planned Parenthood as an organizaiton that they wanted to de-fund.  Then I learned about Karen Handel and her very anti-Planned Parenthood stance.  It seemed a bit too coincidental that this person joins the board and a relatively short time later, Komen's relationship with Planned Parenthood is ending.  I know the Komen organization's official line at the time was that this was never about Planned Parenthood, but I've also read articles quoting insiders who say the board has been actively looking for ways to distance themselves from Planned Parenthood for a while and that this move was *all* about that.

My heart was breaking as all of this went on.  I am passionate about this cause and about wanting to find a cure.  I believed that Komen was one of the organizations out there that were doing great things with the money they brought in.  At the same time, I also believe strongly in the services that Planned Parenthood provides to women and men who might not have any other means of getting those services.  However, within a few days, as Komen tried desperately to shape their message, for me it had gone beyond and was no longer about whether breast health services at Planned Parenthood were being funded by Komen.  Komen kept changing it's message.  They claimed Handel had nothing to do with it, that politics had nothing to do with it.  The more I dug, the more it looked like none of that was true.  I felt like I'd been betrayed and lied to by someone I cared deeply about.  I love the 3-Day event.  I love the physical challenge combined with making a difference in a cause I believe in, combined with a long weekend of being surrounded by fabulous people.  But I feel like I've been shown a "political agenda" side of Komen that has no place in the work I thought they were doing.  It makes me question everything I know about this organization.

The decision to reverse their stance and continue funding Planned Parenthood's breast health services, followed by the resignation of Karen Handel happened and I felt that this was the right thing for the Komen organization to do.  But the feelings of betrayal were still there.  In essence, it was the idea that Komen was no longer this beautiful "can do no wrong, most-trusted non-profit" to me anymore.  There has not been an apology from them that has owned up to all that happened and all the mistakes they have made.  Their statements have been finely worded, but mostly have involved asking us to put the focus back on their "mission" and to "move on".  It's almost like they are saying, "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain" (to quote The Wizard of Oz).  Unfortunately, they were the ones who drew attention to "the man behind the curtain" (i.e. the fact that they are making decisions based on political leanings) and some of us need them to resolve that, ackknowledge it and not just have it ignored.

Things died down some, and I still felt tortured by the "should I walk?" question.  Then the survey happened.  I don't know what the survey was about because I was one of the people who was sent an invitation to take it, and then disqualified after having answered a few demographic questions.  It was like a slap in the face.  When I got the invitation, I was highly interested in seeing what they were going to ask.  When I was disqualified it felt like Komen basically told me that all the work I've done for their organization was not enough of a contribution to have my voice heard because I didn't meet some random demographic criteria (by the way, I'm VERY curious about what demographic fact about me actually disqualified me).  It was yet another huge blunder on their part in communicating with the very people who support them.  Number one, the voice of the entire demographic of their supporters should be important to them, but if they really wanted to look more closely at a particular subset, you still collect data from everyone and then cull that subset's data after the fact.  There would have been a lot fewer hurt feelings had they done that.

Getting your phone call and being asked to share my thoughts and feelings has helped alleviate the feeling that my voice is not being heard, but knowing you are affiliated with the 3-Day, and knowing all of these mistakes were made by the larger organization still makes me feel like the larger organization is not necessarily something I want to support.

The "should I walk?" question thought process revolves around four main points for me:

1) I don't "feel good" about Komen right now.  Do I really have the energy to fundraise and train when my heart is not in it?  The 3-Day is a HUGE undertaking involving tons of time and energy on my part.  I don't currently know how to heal these feelings of betrayal to the point where I can joyfully take on this task, and I know you can only do a volunteer task this big when you can take it on joyfully.

2) I rationally know that most organizations can't help having political aspects as they are made up of individual people who are political beings.  I know that if I really stopped doing business with every organization that did something I didn't agree with or that had a policy I disapproved of, or that made mistakes, I would in all likelyhood have to grow all my own food, make all my own clothing, furniture, toys for my kids.... in short, an organization that only did things *I* approve of doesn't exist. 

3) I signed up for the San Diego 2012 3-Day back in September of last year.  I currently have $605 in my fundraising account for that walk.  My decision would be easier if I didn't already have almost 1/4 of what I need to walk.  I'd take this year off and reevaluate my participation next year.

4) I know that the fight against breast cancer needs to continue.  My passion for that has not changed, but I'm no longer sure that Komen is the vehicle I want to support to do that.

I don't really know where to go from here to resolve the "Should I walk?" question.  However, I want to say once more that I greatly appreciate you taking the time to listen to what I have to say on this and hope that the larger Komen organization hears the relevant parts of my input and the input of other participants and learns from them to improve their organization.

Thank you for your time,

Warmly,
Margie Dowens
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(2/22/12) Training: 30 minutes of walking ~ 1.5 mile, Total 22.0 miles
(2/19/12) Training: 5.3 miles in 1 hour 50 minutes, Total: 20.5 miles
(2/18/12) Training: Aerobics, 1 hour
(2/13/12) Training: Aqua Aerobics, 1 hour
(2/6/12) Training: Aqua Aerobics, 1 hour
(2/1/12) Training: Aqua Aerobics, 1 hour
(1/30/12) Training: Aqua Aerobics, 40 minutes
(1/26/12) Training: 3.1 miles in 55 minutes, Total 15.2 miles
(1/23/12) Training: Aqua Aerobics, 1 hour
(1/20/12) Training: 5.1 miles in 1 hr 51 minutes, Total 12.1 miles
(1/18/12) Training: Aqua Aerobics, 1 hour
(1/13/12) Training: 3.5 miles in 1 hr 11 minutes, Total 7 miles
(1/11/12) Training: Aqua Aerobics, 1 hour
(1/10/12) Training: 3.5 miles in 1 hr 16 minutes; Total: 3.5 miles
(1/9/12) Training: Aqua Aerobics, 1 hour
(12/7/11) Fundraising: $200 (matching gift), Total: $605
(12/5/11) Fundraising: $10, Total: $405
(11/28/11) Fundraising: $100, Total: $395

Friday, November 25, 2011

Horray for Fantastic News!

I finally got the official word in the mail today that my diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound came back normal.  I cannot tell you what a relief that is.  Thank you so much to all of you who have supported me while I waited to hear what was next.  I'm glad to know that what is next involves nothing more than a routine mammogram next year.

I survived the 2011 3-Day Walk with flying colors.  I am working up a write up of the event, but the highlights are as follows, my teammate Nancy, Rocks!!!  She outwalked me and made it possible for me to do more than I could have done alone.

I walked a total of 51.8 miles.  I swept 2.2 miles on Day 2 and then we took the SAG bus after lunch on Day 2 back to camp, skipping the last 6 miles that day.  The other two days, we both walked all the mileage!!!

I did not get as emotionally drained this year, nor was I as physically exhausted after the event, which was nice.  I was able to pretty much return to my regular routine when I got home.

I'm already getting donations for the 2012 walk!!!  Yup, I'm signed up for a third year and you can help me get there by donating now at http://www.the3day.org/goto/margie_dowens and clicking on the bright pink "Donate to Margie in 2012" button on the left hand side of the screen.  I am so grateful for each and every one of you who support my walks financially and who support me with your kind words and encouragement.

(11/15/11) Fundraising 2012: $35, Total: $295.00
(11/14/11) Fundraising 2012: $60, Total: $260.00
(10/21/11) First Donation to 2012 walk: $200.00, Total: $200.00

Monday, November 14, 2011

Still No Real Answers

I had my followup diagnostic mammogram and a follow-up ultrasound today.  The technicians are not allowed to tell you much of anything, but my ultrasound tech did say that she didn't see anything to immediately be concerned about, but that the radiologist would look at the pictures she took and if more testing (i.e. biopsy) is needed the radiologist would contact my doctor and my doctor would contact me.  So I've sort of got good news, but it's tentative and I'm really back to the waiting game.  I'm hoping that someone calls me with the official results in the next couple days.  I dislike this waiting.

In the meantime, I'm trying to get packing done and settle everything around the house before I leave for San Diego on Thursday.

(11/13/11) Training: 7.3 miles in 2 hours 40 minutes
Total miles this year: 208.5
(11/13/11) Fundraising: $30, Total: $2,600
(11/11/11) Training: 4.0 miles in 1 hour 15 minutes
Total miles this year: 201.2

Friday, November 11, 2011

It's Probably Nothing

I had my annual mammogram last Friday.  Yesterday, less than a week since it was done, I got the call that sends fear into most every woman's heart.  They want me to come back in for a second set of films on one side and probably a follow-up ultrasound.  I know that this happens all the time.  I know that many women are called in for additional screening that turns out to be nothing to worry about.  But this is kind of like making it to the second round in a contest you don't want to win.  You didn't want to even be a contender.  You wanted to wait two weeks and get that letter that tells you that everything is "normal".  I have had mammograms at this facility before, so they have to be seeing something that's changed from my last one.

My mother has a history of cystic breasts.  Almost every time she had a mammogram, they did a follow-up ultrasound for her.  I'm probably just finally at an age where that is starting to happen to me.  But I have to wait, not knowing, and that is no fun.  Let's talk about the waiting thing for a minute.  I don't get why they don't have an express lane for people with unusual mammograms.  I'd pay extra to have had it done yesterday.  The first appointment they had was not for TWO WEEKS.  Yes, you read that right, two weeks!  Luckily, I know enough to schedule that appointment and then ask them to be put on the cancellation list.  If someone cancels their appointment, they call and get you in earlier.  What I was impressed about was that they called back within a couple hours, and instead of two weeks, I now only have to wait until Monday.  That's still four days from the time I got the notification that I need to go back in.  Four long days.

My mom will go with me on Monday and most likely I'll come back and report that all is fine, and I'm trying not to think about it otherwise.

(11/3/11) Training: 7.1 miles in 2 hours 31 minutes
Total miles this year: 197.2

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Random Things I Keep Thinking About on Training Walks

If I had time, I might take some of these topics and create a separate blog post.  Instead, here's several random thoughts that continue to go through my head as I'm out on training walks.  Welcome to my rather schizophrenic mind.

1) October is breast cancer awareness month. Don't forget to do you self-exam and if you're due for it, schedule that mammogram!  Wear Pink! (Um... Margie, you need to get yours scheduled.  You're overdue.)

2) Based on the training I've been able to get in, my goal is to walk a minimum of 10 miles per day on the 3-Day.  The fact I did 11.1 miles today (and could have kept going had it not been blazingly HOT), makes me think that I may be able to do more than that!

3) When walking, you actually should consciously alternate between using your right and left feet to step up on curbs.  Last year on the walk, I noticed one knee was starting to hurt.  When I realized it was on the leg that I had continuously used to step up on curbs, I started using the other one and that pain stopped.

4) I need to go over my packing list and figure out what I still may need to get to be ready to pack next month.  Don't forget that there is a one-bag, 35lb limit on what you bring with you to camp!

5) I got my first donation for my 2012 3-Day Walk AND it is from someone who's company does a 100% matching gift.  I've already raised $400.00 for 2012!!!!  If you have donated to my walk, make sure you've checked to see if your company does matching gifts!  More information on matching gifts can be found at: http://www.the3day.org/site/PageServer?pagename=Matching_Gifts_2011

6) It's not to late to send me mail that I will receive in camp.  Send letters (no packages) to:
       3-Day for the Cure
       ATTN: MARGIE DOWENS
       P.O. Box 722485
       San Diego, CA 92172
Must be postmarked by November 8th.
If you really want to be cool, send one to my teammate as well: Same address, ATTN: NANCY SPRINGER

7) Don't forget earplugs if you're packing to stay in camp.  People snore (I do!) and there's lots of noise.  Also, at night, be sure to ease the door of the port-o-potty closed.  No one appreciates it when it slams and wakes them up.

That's all I can think of for now!  Keep that training going!
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(10/22/11) Training: 11.1 miles in 4 hours 7 minutes
Total miles this year: 190.1
(10/21/11) Training: 4.3 miles in 1 hour 29 minutes
Total miles this year: 179.0
(10/17/11) Fundraising: $40, Total $2,570
(10/16/11) Training: 6.7 miles in 2 hours 25 minutes
Total miles this year: 174.7

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Training and Fundraising Update

Low on time, so here's just the rundown of my latest training and fundraising activity!  You can see I've met my minimum to walk, so I'm super excited about that!!!  My training is where it is, and I will finish what I can of the 60 miles at this point.  I'm not going to over-do, but I'm going to have a blast over those three days.

(10/12/11) Training: 4.3 miles in 1 hour 28 minutes
Total miles this year: 168.0
(10/7/11) Training: 7.3 miles in 2 hours 36 minutes
Total miles this year: 163.7
Fundraising: $60, Total: $2,530
Fundraising: $120, Total: $2,470
(10/6/11) Training: 2.5 miles
Total miles this year: 156.4
(10/5/11) Training: 3.4 miles in 1 hour
Total miles this year: 153.9
(10/3/11) Training: 4.2 miles in 1 hour 25 minutes
Total miles this year: 150.5
(10/2/11) Training: 7 miles in 2 hours 22 minutes
Total miles this year: 146.3
(9/25/11) Training: 6.4 miles in about 2 hours
Total miles this year: 139.3
(9/24/11) Training: 5.2 miles in 1 hour 46 minutes
Total miles this year: 132.9
(9/10/11) Training: 3.3 miles in 1 hour 14 minutes
Total miles this year: 127.7
(9/9/11) Training: 3.0 miles in 58 minutes
Total miles this year: 124.4
Fundraising: $50, Total: $2,350
(9/5/11) Training: 2.5 miles in 58 minutes
Total miles this year: 121.4
(9/4/11) Training: 5.2 miles in 1 hour 58 minutes
Total miles this year: 118.9
(8/14/11) Training: 2.8 miles in 62 minutes
Total miles this year: 113.7
(8/11/11) Fundraising: $75, Total: $2,300!!!!!  I'm official to WALK!
(8/10/11) Training: 1.1 miles,
Total miles this year: 110.9
(8/10/11) Fundraising: $120, Total: $2,225
(8/8/11) Fundraising: $100, Total: $2,105
(8/3/11) Fundraising: $60, Total: $2,005
(8/2/11) Fundraising: $25, Total: $1,945